Animal Crackers

A mother walks into the kitchen and sees her daughter with the whole box of animal crackers spread on the counter top. Mother: "Why did you pour out the whole box?" Daughter: "The box says, 'Do not eat if the seal is broken.' I'm looking for the seal."

Cute Baby

When we brought our new-born son to the pediatrician for his first checkup, the doctor said, "You have a cute baby." Smiling, I said, "I'll bet you say that to all the new parents." "No," he replied, "just to those whose babies are really good-looking." "So what do you say to the others?" I asked. "He looks just like you."